Sorry I'm late - fell asleep - Part 1 chapter 1

I ran and ran, brush tearing at me as I blindly stumbled. Tears and blood mixed and streamed. Betrayal. Shame. Hate. All swirled and washed over me. finally I fell into the spinks river, border of our settlement. I lay in the cold current. drifting, slowly, the moonlight would have dimly shown the forest and the bracken just beyond had I been looking but I was busy trying to drown. The coolness felt good on my body, would this be how death felt I wondered; cold and numb, then the gentle letting go. But as I tried to let myself sink, take that first breath of water that would be my last, something coughed it out and struggled for air. Cowardice, love of my own breathe and consciousness, or hate unavenged; I don't know. Eventually I turned onto my back and let the river take me where it would. The coolness turned to a deep chill and I realized that I had been drifting towards the opposite bank. Exhausted and cold now I managed to cover the last couple of yards to the bank and crawled from the mud into the bleached grass and driftwood that became my bed for the night.