I knew Cheryl was distraught but, I was stunned that she would have been so far gone as to attempt to take her own life. This had to be some kind of accident. Didn’t it?
I pretty much had to take my queues in this from her family. I didn’t have much of a point of reference here. Her family was now a complete emotional mess. They had just buried her brother and now Cheryl, who appeared to be the rock everyone was leaning on through the first loss, had seemingly succumbed to the stress of the recent events.
I learned, after about an hour of waiting, that she was going to be all right (physically). The medical doctors were now taking a back seat to the psychiatrist and social workers that have become part of this “case.” I was wrestling with my own guilt feelings that perhaps I should have seen signs or been more supportive or something.
Her parents were very appreciative of my presence but they had a lot of stuff going on now too. I was going to have to work out whatever I was feeling with on my own.
Despite hanging around for over two and half hours, I never did get in to see her that evening. Her parents eventually were allowed to go in but she was under heavy sedation and all they were really able to do was to hold her hand and sit with her quietly.
I headed back out into the autumn night air and was feeling pretty much like I didn’t want to be alone that evening. I drove around the city for awhile before lighting onto the idea of hitting my old favorite watering hole, the Blind Squirrel.
The place appeared as it always seemed to appear in my mind’s eye but when I went inside, I was almost immediately taken by a change that was all too obvious… and also troubling (to say the least).
My old friend Jennifer was tending bar that evening (which wasn’t surprising) but, what startled me was that her appearance betrayed that she was “with child.” The possibility that she was pregnant with my baby was not lost on me. I did some mental arithmetic and decided it had been about three months since our little one-night tête-à-tête. I was half tempted to turn on my heels and leave but the shock of this revelation left me unable to move either towards the bar or away from it.
With no other recourse but to confront the situation, I walked towards the bar and took a stool in the corner. Jennifer hadn’t seen me yet and I was trying to think of something witty to say, something that might diffuse the situation a little but, when she approached me and the realization wiped across her face, the only thing that came out of my mouth was “could I get a shot of Glenlivet and a Saranac Pale Ale chaser please?”
When she returned to my perch at the bar with my order, there was an incredible amount of uncomfortable silence that hung in the air between us.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Well - Part XXII
The next few days were rough to say the least. The powerful combination of hearing about the positive news of the war and the personally tragic events that took Cheryl’s brother’s life caused a powerful combination of emotions within Cheryl’s family.
Her father was angry and made no air to conceal that fact. The circumstances around his son’s death were going to get investigated; he was going to sue every congressman and the president himself to get restitution for the loss of his son’s life. Knowing that his death was accidental and caused by a member of his own unit’s added to this anger and confusion.
There are never any “right words” for these awful situations. No words that would have any magic healing effects can be conjured up. The only thing anyone can do in this kind of circumstances is to be there, be supportive and to listen. This is exactly all I did for the next four days. I actually commuted back and forth from the city to Danbury during the next few working days to be around and to comfort Cheryl.
The memorial service was a typical military honorarium. The family received the folded flag that would be placed on some mantle somewhere. Following the service was the usual gathering of friends and family in a communal meal before all of the attendees were to depart back to their separate lives.
In the weeks that followed the funeral, Cheryl seemed depressed to the point of distraction. I didn’t get the feeling that they were as close as it appears they must have been given her reaction to his death.
I wanted very much to help her and her family but couldn’t find any meaningful way of accomplishing this. About a month later, I got a call from her Dad telling me that Cheryl was in the hospital and that I should probably come up as soon as I could. I was absolutely beside myself with fear at this news. I tried to get some news as to what was going on from her dad but, I got very few details other than that she seemed stable at the moment.
When I arrived at the hospital, some of my questions were answered almost immediately. When I asked at the nurse’s station where her room was, I was told that I couldn’t go in there right now as the psychiatrist was still in there with her and would need at least another half hour before visitors were going to be allowed back in to see her.
Her father was angry and made no air to conceal that fact. The circumstances around his son’s death were going to get investigated; he was going to sue every congressman and the president himself to get restitution for the loss of his son’s life. Knowing that his death was accidental and caused by a member of his own unit’s added to this anger and confusion.
There are never any “right words” for these awful situations. No words that would have any magic healing effects can be conjured up. The only thing anyone can do in this kind of circumstances is to be there, be supportive and to listen. This is exactly all I did for the next four days. I actually commuted back and forth from the city to Danbury during the next few working days to be around and to comfort Cheryl.
The memorial service was a typical military honorarium. The family received the folded flag that would be placed on some mantle somewhere. Following the service was the usual gathering of friends and family in a communal meal before all of the attendees were to depart back to their separate lives.
In the weeks that followed the funeral, Cheryl seemed depressed to the point of distraction. I didn’t get the feeling that they were as close as it appears they must have been given her reaction to his death.
I wanted very much to help her and her family but couldn’t find any meaningful way of accomplishing this. About a month later, I got a call from her Dad telling me that Cheryl was in the hospital and that I should probably come up as soon as I could. I was absolutely beside myself with fear at this news. I tried to get some news as to what was going on from her dad but, I got very few details other than that she seemed stable at the moment.
When I arrived at the hospital, some of my questions were answered almost immediately. When I asked at the nurse’s station where her room was, I was told that I couldn’t go in there right now as the psychiatrist was still in there with her and would need at least another half hour before visitors were going to be allowed back in to see her.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Well - Part XXI
I arrived in Danbury around 3:30 in the afternoon. I knew Cheryl’s classes wrapped up around that time but it would likely be another hour before she would be returning to her apartment.
My plan (if I truly had one) was to buy some flowers and be waiting in the parking lot of her condominium complex when she returned home. I stopped off at a florist and selected a dozen roses and had them wrapped and sitting on the passenger seat of my car when I pulled into her complex. I figured that I was at least a half hour early but, I wanted to be in position and leave no chance of missing the full effect of my element of surprise.
As fate would have it though, it was I who was surprised.
When I pulled into the area around her building, I noticed that her car was already there. That was odd, I wondered inwardly if she had taken ill and had left early for the day. I figured that I had missed my surprise in the parking lot but, accepted that, scooped up my bouquet of flowers and entered her building almost skipping through the lobby to the elevator.
When I knocked at her door, I was surprised that an older man answered it and stood in the hallway looking quizzically at me standing there flat footed with my flowers in hand.
The man was Cheryl’s dad (I had never met him before) as this was being explained to me, I also met two of Cheryl’s cousins, her great aunt and two uncles. It was then that I heard the news about Cheryl’s brother being killed.
I almost wanted to hide the flowers but, that awkwardness passed. The room was full of nothing by sorrow and despair (her great aunt seemed to want to do nothing more than wail on the couch over and over).
I immediately felt like a cad with my flowers and thoughts of carnal pursuits. Cheryl introduced me as “her boyfriend” (I was an official boyfriend) and an ex-classmate at Danbury High. Her family acknowledged me but obviously had a lot on their minds. I decided quite quickly that it probably would be best if I let them be and I had every intention of doing just that if not for the imploring gaze I received from Cheryl when I mentioned that I vocalized just that.
“Please Jim, stay with me for awhile. I don’t want to be alone.” I didn’t have the heart to point out that she was anything but alone be surrounded by that much family in a relatively small condominium. I was also privately thrilled that she asked me to stay.
I had never known Cheryl’s brother. He was a couple of grades behind us in High School and I rarely traveled outside of my small circle of friends anyway. I felt horrible for Cheryl. The fact that they already knew that he died from “friendly fire” added even more tragedy to this event.
As the evening passed, more family showed up. It seemed Cheryl had what became to be the family headquarters for this tragedy. Just before mid-night, the last of the family left and I offered to Cheryl that we step out for some coffee and a distraction.
My plan (if I truly had one) was to buy some flowers and be waiting in the parking lot of her condominium complex when she returned home. I stopped off at a florist and selected a dozen roses and had them wrapped and sitting on the passenger seat of my car when I pulled into her complex. I figured that I was at least a half hour early but, I wanted to be in position and leave no chance of missing the full effect of my element of surprise.
As fate would have it though, it was I who was surprised.
When I pulled into the area around her building, I noticed that her car was already there. That was odd, I wondered inwardly if she had taken ill and had left early for the day. I figured that I had missed my surprise in the parking lot but, accepted that, scooped up my bouquet of flowers and entered her building almost skipping through the lobby to the elevator.
When I knocked at her door, I was surprised that an older man answered it and stood in the hallway looking quizzically at me standing there flat footed with my flowers in hand.
The man was Cheryl’s dad (I had never met him before) as this was being explained to me, I also met two of Cheryl’s cousins, her great aunt and two uncles. It was then that I heard the news about Cheryl’s brother being killed.
I almost wanted to hide the flowers but, that awkwardness passed. The room was full of nothing by sorrow and despair (her great aunt seemed to want to do nothing more than wail on the couch over and over).
I immediately felt like a cad with my flowers and thoughts of carnal pursuits. Cheryl introduced me as “her boyfriend” (I was an official boyfriend) and an ex-classmate at Danbury High. Her family acknowledged me but obviously had a lot on their minds. I decided quite quickly that it probably would be best if I let them be and I had every intention of doing just that if not for the imploring gaze I received from Cheryl when I mentioned that I vocalized just that.
“Please Jim, stay with me for awhile. I don’t want to be alone.” I didn’t have the heart to point out that she was anything but alone be surrounded by that much family in a relatively small condominium. I was also privately thrilled that she asked me to stay.
I had never known Cheryl’s brother. He was a couple of grades behind us in High School and I rarely traveled outside of my small circle of friends anyway. I felt horrible for Cheryl. The fact that they already knew that he died from “friendly fire” added even more tragedy to this event.
As the evening passed, more family showed up. It seemed Cheryl had what became to be the family headquarters for this tragedy. Just before mid-night, the last of the family left and I offered to Cheryl that we step out for some coffee and a distraction.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Well - Part XX
I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes. It took me nearly a dozen years after graduation to actually approach a woman who I had known nearly all my life and even then, a half dozen dates later, we actually kissed. That night, there was no more waiting.
We spent the night together (I never did call my sister) and in the morning, after awakening and another bout of lovemaking, I never wanted to leave her bedroom. The morning eventually wore on and we reluctantly broke our embrace and rose to face the day.
Cheryl prepared a great breakfast, we chatted some more and then she brought me over to the train station. I didn’t want to leave but our lives were calling. She had schoolwork to grade and I had to get back to the city to prepare for the coming week.
As we moved through these tasks, I felt like I was walking on air. The previous weeks were so wonderfully “out of place” in my normally mundane doldrums of an existence. Life felt like it was done handing me lemons and it was time for some good fortune.
We proceeded with daily calls both in the morning and in the evening. She remained on my mind throughout my days and I literally ached for her embrace during the times we were apart.
That week, I cut a deal with my employer to work late a few nights in exchange for a half day off on Friday. I wanted to surprise Cheryl by coming up early on Friday night. Unlike the previous times that I had planned for the trip north, I didn’t call my sister. I had no intentions of seeing anyone but Cheryl.
When I spoke with her on Thursday night I was bursting at the seams to tell Cheryl that I was coming up the following afternoon but I held off. We talked about what was going on in each other’s jobs, we talked about things that were in the news, new movies coming out and books that we ewre reading or planning on reading. Cheryl being a teacher always was on the look out for new material that she could use within her classroom.
That night our nation’s troops drove the last of the Russian regiment back out of Alaska (and across the Bering Strait). The UN General Council was calling for a cessation of fighting between the two countries and it appeared a cease-fire was eminent.
It was also that night that Cheryl’s brother was killed by friendly fire.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Well - Part XIX
The kiss had the effect of killing my story in mid sentence. It also awoke within me a floodgate of feelings. Maybe I was actually suppressing my desire for this woman who was still “protected” by my notion of her being unattainable from our high school years.
It wasn’t a really passionate kiss but it seemed to signal a change in our relationship. I toyed with the notion of changing our destination from the Green Bo Restaurant to my apartment but, squelched that notion internally.
We had a nice meal. We ordered (at my behest) yellow fish with dried seaweed and rice cakes. I continued throughout the meal to try and read in Cheryl’s eyes any clue as to what her expectations were for the remainder of our day together. The original plan was to have her back on the road by 7:00pm to head north out of the city.
I did a mental tour of my apartment and decided that I didn’t really want us to head over there anyway. I decided that perhaps I drive up with her, stay with sister and have them take to a train in Brewster for the trip back to the city. I casually (or as casually as I could muster) brought up this notion and was very encouraged with Cheryl’s positive reaction.
We decided to head back to where her car was parked and go directly north earlier than we had planned. I said that I could call my sister once we got up to Danbury.
The ride north was a blur in my memory. I know that there was a number of conflicting emotions and fears that ruled my thoughts during the two-hour drive. I tried to relax thinking that it was best not to push or have any kind of expectation at all but, that was a foolish notion. I had already envisioned a number of move scene scenarios that had us falling into bed having passionate sex for hours (in various rooms throughout her apartment). I had to keep reminding myself that this was crazy and wanted to continue with our current slow pace for fear of ruining the really comfortable relationship we had.
If this was going to happen, it would happen as an extension of the closeness we had garnered over the previous weeks. I didn’t want to try and force anything despite the fact that since the kiss, I was lusting after this woman more so than I ever lusted after anyone in my life.
When we arrived, Cheryl asked if I wanted any coffee. I really didn’t but it seemed to be a good move to answer in the positive. While she moved into the kitchen area to prepare the brew, I called my sister to inquire about the change in plans. Unfortunately no one was home at her house (which didn’t upset me all that much) so I left a message and hung up.
We settled into the couch with the evening news on the tube. We comically clinked our coffee mugs before setting them down onto the coffee table. We hadn’t touched since our kiss (that Cheryl had instigated) in the cab earlier in the day.
“Cheryl, would you mind terribly if I kissed you right now…?”
“Jim, I’d mind terribly if you didn’t…”
It wasn’t a really passionate kiss but it seemed to signal a change in our relationship. I toyed with the notion of changing our destination from the Green Bo Restaurant to my apartment but, squelched that notion internally.
We had a nice meal. We ordered (at my behest) yellow fish with dried seaweed and rice cakes. I continued throughout the meal to try and read in Cheryl’s eyes any clue as to what her expectations were for the remainder of our day together. The original plan was to have her back on the road by 7:00pm to head north out of the city.
I did a mental tour of my apartment and decided that I didn’t really want us to head over there anyway. I decided that perhaps I drive up with her, stay with sister and have them take to a train in Brewster for the trip back to the city. I casually (or as casually as I could muster) brought up this notion and was very encouraged with Cheryl’s positive reaction.
We decided to head back to where her car was parked and go directly north earlier than we had planned. I said that I could call my sister once we got up to Danbury.
The ride north was a blur in my memory. I know that there was a number of conflicting emotions and fears that ruled my thoughts during the two-hour drive. I tried to relax thinking that it was best not to push or have any kind of expectation at all but, that was a foolish notion. I had already envisioned a number of move scene scenarios that had us falling into bed having passionate sex for hours (in various rooms throughout her apartment). I had to keep reminding myself that this was crazy and wanted to continue with our current slow pace for fear of ruining the really comfortable relationship we had.
If this was going to happen, it would happen as an extension of the closeness we had garnered over the previous weeks. I didn’t want to try and force anything despite the fact that since the kiss, I was lusting after this woman more so than I ever lusted after anyone in my life.
When we arrived, Cheryl asked if I wanted any coffee. I really didn’t but it seemed to be a good move to answer in the positive. While she moved into the kitchen area to prepare the brew, I called my sister to inquire about the change in plans. Unfortunately no one was home at her house (which didn’t upset me all that much) so I left a message and hung up.
We settled into the couch with the evening news on the tube. We comically clinked our coffee mugs before setting them down onto the coffee table. We hadn’t touched since our kiss (that Cheryl had instigated) in the cab earlier in the day.
“Cheryl, would you mind terribly if I kissed you right now…?”
“Jim, I’d mind terribly if you didn’t…”
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A confession...
Bless me Father for I have sinned. It’s been approximately 30 years since my last confession.
I have endeavored to live a just life but I’ve not always been faithful to the laws of men or God.
I felt that God and I had a mutual understanding… a sort of “you do your thing, I’ll do mine.” Oh sure, I’ve had those instances where a quick prayer was almost an instinctual reaction but, for the most part, I’ve tried not to do any harm to anyone else
…and to perhaps attempt good when I could.
I have lusted after sins of the flesh. I have sought out material possessions and have not been as charitable as I could have been in my most productive and financially fruitful years.
I don’t know as if I did a stellar job honoring my mother and father.
I’ve pretty much thought of the Sabbath day as an extension of the weekend, a good day for cookouts and football.
Oh, and I’ve taken the name of God in vain a few hundred thousand times…
The other commandments are pretty safe from me though.
I have endeavored to live a just life but I’ve not always been faithful to the laws of men or God.
I felt that God and I had a mutual understanding… a sort of “you do your thing, I’ll do mine.” Oh sure, I’ve had those instances where a quick prayer was almost an instinctual reaction but, for the most part, I’ve tried not to do any harm to anyone else
…and to perhaps attempt good when I could.
I have lusted after sins of the flesh. I have sought out material possessions and have not been as charitable as I could have been in my most productive and financially fruitful years.
I don’t know as if I did a stellar job honoring my mother and father.
I’ve pretty much thought of the Sabbath day as an extension of the weekend, a good day for cookouts and football.
Oh, and I’ve taken the name of God in vain a few hundred thousand times…
The other commandments are pretty safe from me though.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Well - Part XVIII
The ensuing several weeks passed with a brevity that indicated an air of familiarity and contentment. This was an amazing turn of events at least to me. I saw Cheryl three times in the next two weeks. Twice on weekends (once in the city and once in Danbury) and once, surprisingly, out on Long Island at the Nassau Coliseum. We saw one play, a movie and a concert by Lou Reed.
Each meeting was a joy (from my perspective) that rivaled anything that had transpired within my life over the previous ten years. I was certainly feeling blessed during these following two weeks.
As is often the case, when something like this is transpiring, all things seemingly unrelated seem to be going equally as well. My job seemed to be less of a chore, the other mundane items that everyone wrestles with were moving along with less than the usual amount of participation / frustration on my part.
Cheryl too seemed to relish the experiences. She often mentioned that the times between our meetings were “ok” and “nothing much happened” but, she was very animated when we were together often going into long diatribes on a variety of subjects. We would debate the events of the day. Talk about how much we liked this artist or that musician. Banter about the relative merits of the NY Daily News versus the NY Times.
We had yet to even kiss. It seems we were comfortable in all other aspects of our relationship but we assiduously avoided any overtures towards physical intimacy. For my part I was perfectly content with this. I simply enjoyed connecting with a friend whom I hadn’t even knew I had. We had many similar interests and views. The lack of any kind of romantic element only seemed weird if I thought about it. It was the only subject I was reluctant to bring up in our conversations.
On our fourth “date” we chose to head down to the South Street Seaport in the city. Cheryl seemed to be gathering a comfort level with coming down and spending time in the city. We were just going to do some shopping. The holidays were coming so this seemed like this had some practical aspects to it. I had plans to steer us up into Chinatown later in the afternoon for an early dinner.
After we had gathered a number of packages each, it seemed prudent to take a cab rather than walk through Chinatown with the bags and one bulky box that contained a coffee grinder that I had latched onto as a gift for my sister from one of the specialty stores. During the cab ride uptown, we had placed the packages on the far end of the cab and were seated closely together on the bench seat. I was regaling Cheryl with a story regarding my office mates when she leaned into me and kissed me.
Each meeting was a joy (from my perspective) that rivaled anything that had transpired within my life over the previous ten years. I was certainly feeling blessed during these following two weeks.
As is often the case, when something like this is transpiring, all things seemingly unrelated seem to be going equally as well. My job seemed to be less of a chore, the other mundane items that everyone wrestles with were moving along with less than the usual amount of participation / frustration on my part.
Cheryl too seemed to relish the experiences. She often mentioned that the times between our meetings were “ok” and “nothing much happened” but, she was very animated when we were together often going into long diatribes on a variety of subjects. We would debate the events of the day. Talk about how much we liked this artist or that musician. Banter about the relative merits of the NY Daily News versus the NY Times.
We had yet to even kiss. It seems we were comfortable in all other aspects of our relationship but we assiduously avoided any overtures towards physical intimacy. For my part I was perfectly content with this. I simply enjoyed connecting with a friend whom I hadn’t even knew I had. We had many similar interests and views. The lack of any kind of romantic element only seemed weird if I thought about it. It was the only subject I was reluctant to bring up in our conversations.
On our fourth “date” we chose to head down to the South Street Seaport in the city. Cheryl seemed to be gathering a comfort level with coming down and spending time in the city. We were just going to do some shopping. The holidays were coming so this seemed like this had some practical aspects to it. I had plans to steer us up into Chinatown later in the afternoon for an early dinner.
After we had gathered a number of packages each, it seemed prudent to take a cab rather than walk through Chinatown with the bags and one bulky box that contained a coffee grinder that I had latched onto as a gift for my sister from one of the specialty stores. During the cab ride uptown, we had placed the packages on the far end of the cab and were seated closely together on the bench seat. I was regaling Cheryl with a story regarding my office mates when she leaned into me and kissed me.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Well - Part XVII
Life is best looked at as a continual series of improvisations. I think the folks that view themselves as “planners” are kidding themselves. The best-laid plans of mice and men… geez, I’m full of clichés today.
My night with Cheryl turned out to be wildly successful. Our conversation quickly became casual. There seemed to be little in the way of the usual first date posturing or awkwardness. The ease in which we were recounting past times that made up the interim between our high school days and the current time frame was almost unbelievable.
I couldn’t recall any times I’d spent with any other person that seemed to leave me with both a joy and a feeling of renewal. I felt driving home that evening that all things were possible and that life was truly something to be savored and most definitely enjoyed. Gone was the frustration and feeling of being put off by my job and society. Gone was the feeling that I was powerless to make any material shift in my own destiny. I knew innately that she felt the same. We parted in the parking lot of the original meeting place with a casual “I’ll call you later” and I knew that we both would follow up on those promises.
When I arrived home that night I was jazzed. I knew I couldn’t sleep but didn’t really want to brave the outside world. I compromised with a midnight snack of Kraft’s macaroni and cheese washed down by a few bottles of beer.
In the morning I had to bite down hard on the notion of calling Cheryl first thing in the morning. I waited all the way until 10:00 am.
“Hey Cheryl, it’s me.”
“I was hoping you’d call.” I was now doing handstands in my living room. Boyhood crush being acted on, dreams are possible, when you wish upon a star… Okay that’s maybe going a bit too far.
“So, what are you planning for this Sunday?” I asked.
“ Not much, just some housework, maybe grade some papers and try to get ahead of the week-ahead’s chores.”
“I see. Yeah, me too…nothing special. I might watch a little football.”
“Oh, I heard from Greg (Cheryl’s brother).”
“Oh, he’s doing okay?”
“Yeah, it seems the crisis is sort of ‘on hold’. It’s devolved into a large scale stare-down. They are all wondering who is going to blink first. He couldn’t tell me much other than to ‘not worry’ and all…”
“Well, that should be a big load off your mind…”
“It is. I was going just a little nuts. He’s the last family I have on the planet.”
“I understand. I’m really happy for you on that front.”
“Yep…”
“I was wondering if you were free Wednesday to maybe make a sojourn down to the city… I can get tickets to see “Wicked” on broadway. I knew I could because my co-worker Stan has an in with the theater there and he’s constantly flaunting it.
“That would be great. Except it’s a school night.”
“I understand. How about the weekend?”
“Friday is free right now.”
“I’ll have to inquire but, hopefully that’ll work with the Wicket show.”
“If not that, maybe something else.” Cartwheels again. She doesn’t even care what we are doing. I’ve made an impression.
“Okay great, we’ll figure something out. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, fine… see ya.”
My night with Cheryl turned out to be wildly successful. Our conversation quickly became casual. There seemed to be little in the way of the usual first date posturing or awkwardness. The ease in which we were recounting past times that made up the interim between our high school days and the current time frame was almost unbelievable.
I couldn’t recall any times I’d spent with any other person that seemed to leave me with both a joy and a feeling of renewal. I felt driving home that evening that all things were possible and that life was truly something to be savored and most definitely enjoyed. Gone was the frustration and feeling of being put off by my job and society. Gone was the feeling that I was powerless to make any material shift in my own destiny. I knew innately that she felt the same. We parted in the parking lot of the original meeting place with a casual “I’ll call you later” and I knew that we both would follow up on those promises.
When I arrived home that night I was jazzed. I knew I couldn’t sleep but didn’t really want to brave the outside world. I compromised with a midnight snack of Kraft’s macaroni and cheese washed down by a few bottles of beer.
In the morning I had to bite down hard on the notion of calling Cheryl first thing in the morning. I waited all the way until 10:00 am.
“Hey Cheryl, it’s me.”
“I was hoping you’d call.” I was now doing handstands in my living room. Boyhood crush being acted on, dreams are possible, when you wish upon a star… Okay that’s maybe going a bit too far.
“So, what are you planning for this Sunday?” I asked.
“ Not much, just some housework, maybe grade some papers and try to get ahead of the week-ahead’s chores.”
“I see. Yeah, me too…nothing special. I might watch a little football.”
“Oh, I heard from Greg (Cheryl’s brother).”
“Oh, he’s doing okay?”
“Yeah, it seems the crisis is sort of ‘on hold’. It’s devolved into a large scale stare-down. They are all wondering who is going to blink first. He couldn’t tell me much other than to ‘not worry’ and all…”
“Well, that should be a big load off your mind…”
“It is. I was going just a little nuts. He’s the last family I have on the planet.”
“I understand. I’m really happy for you on that front.”
“Yep…”
“I was wondering if you were free Wednesday to maybe make a sojourn down to the city… I can get tickets to see “Wicked” on broadway. I knew I could because my co-worker Stan has an in with the theater there and he’s constantly flaunting it.
“That would be great. Except it’s a school night.”
“I understand. How about the weekend?”
“Friday is free right now.”
“I’ll have to inquire but, hopefully that’ll work with the Wicket show.”
“If not that, maybe something else.” Cartwheels again. She doesn’t even care what we are doing. I’ve made an impression.
“Okay great, we’ll figure something out. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, fine… see ya.”
Friday, November 13, 2009
Well - Part XVI
Well the pre-arranged time finally arrived and I arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes early. I hadn’t really anticipated Cheryl being there but she was.
She looked great too.
Her shoulder length blond hair hung straight down and with the bangs framed her face giving her very much that “girl next door” home spun look. She wore a solid blue color peasant dress with a shawl. The combination made her appear a tad older than she was however the unassuming appearance seemed to work for her. As I entered the restaurant, she was seated in the waiting area near the hostess stand. I was please to see her face light up a bit when she noticed my entrance.
We had a very nice meal. Much to my surprise, there were very few moments when the conversation lagged and no really awkward silent moments during diner. If I hadn’t known otherwise, it felt like we were old friends that had just seen each other days ago rather than ex-classmates that hadn’t ever broken bread together and really hadn’t spoken much in the last dozen or so years.
As the meal was approaching its logical end, I was pressing my mind for a good “next step.” We hadn’t really discussed much other than the meal but, I was hoping the evening wasn’t going to end after the check came.
“So, what do you want to do now…?” Might as well hit the subject head on. I had built up some confidence in the previous hour’s casual feel to our conversation.
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m not to familiar with what’s around here.”
Good point I thought. Definitely a slight disadvantage when we chose a neutral meeting location. Neither of us were too familiar with the area.
“Well, how about we just drive around some and see if something of interest.” Geez, that was a lame come-on line. I prayed she forgave me my lack of good words.
“Okay. We can check out the malls and see if there are any movies that look good.” She said.
“Yeah, okay…sounds good.”
We left the restaurant and got into my clunker of a vehicle. I hoped she wasn’t going to hold my lack of a decent “ride” against me either. I’m so pathetic. I should just offer to bring her back to her car and call it a night, cut my losses. Hey, once you get caught up in something like this though, you might as well just see it through…
We drove out to the mall and walked around the mall. It was amazing to me that it didn’t feel at all awkward being with Cheryl in this situation. Every other time I spent with potential girl friends even on second, third or fourth dates, we never hit a feeling of casual ease as quickly as it seemed (at least to me) I had with Cheryl.
We did check out the movie listings. I was completely going to allow her to dictate any direction on that front. She, however, didn’t seem to charged up about any of the offerings at this theater. Instead, we opted to continue walking around the mall and talking about any number of other topics. We reminisced about our mutual by-gone days but, more improbably we seemed to focus on where we were within our own lives and even started to discuss individual dreams and aspirations for the future.
I carefully avoided any mention of current events as the news from the warfront was going to be a dicey topic given the fact that I knew Cheryl hadn’t heard any news of the current whereabouts or fate of her brother.
She looked great too.
Her shoulder length blond hair hung straight down and with the bangs framed her face giving her very much that “girl next door” home spun look. She wore a solid blue color peasant dress with a shawl. The combination made her appear a tad older than she was however the unassuming appearance seemed to work for her. As I entered the restaurant, she was seated in the waiting area near the hostess stand. I was please to see her face light up a bit when she noticed my entrance.
We had a very nice meal. Much to my surprise, there were very few moments when the conversation lagged and no really awkward silent moments during diner. If I hadn’t known otherwise, it felt like we were old friends that had just seen each other days ago rather than ex-classmates that hadn’t ever broken bread together and really hadn’t spoken much in the last dozen or so years.
As the meal was approaching its logical end, I was pressing my mind for a good “next step.” We hadn’t really discussed much other than the meal but, I was hoping the evening wasn’t going to end after the check came.
“So, what do you want to do now…?” Might as well hit the subject head on. I had built up some confidence in the previous hour’s casual feel to our conversation.
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m not to familiar with what’s around here.”
Good point I thought. Definitely a slight disadvantage when we chose a neutral meeting location. Neither of us were too familiar with the area.
“Well, how about we just drive around some and see if something of interest.” Geez, that was a lame come-on line. I prayed she forgave me my lack of good words.
“Okay. We can check out the malls and see if there are any movies that look good.” She said.
“Yeah, okay…sounds good.”
We left the restaurant and got into my clunker of a vehicle. I hoped she wasn’t going to hold my lack of a decent “ride” against me either. I’m so pathetic. I should just offer to bring her back to her car and call it a night, cut my losses. Hey, once you get caught up in something like this though, you might as well just see it through…
We drove out to the mall and walked around the mall. It was amazing to me that it didn’t feel at all awkward being with Cheryl in this situation. Every other time I spent with potential girl friends even on second, third or fourth dates, we never hit a feeling of casual ease as quickly as it seemed (at least to me) I had with Cheryl.
We did check out the movie listings. I was completely going to allow her to dictate any direction on that front. She, however, didn’t seem to charged up about any of the offerings at this theater. Instead, we opted to continue walking around the mall and talking about any number of other topics. We reminisced about our mutual by-gone days but, more improbably we seemed to focus on where we were within our own lives and even started to discuss individual dreams and aspirations for the future.
I carefully avoided any mention of current events as the news from the warfront was going to be a dicey topic given the fact that I knew Cheryl hadn’t heard any news of the current whereabouts or fate of her brother.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Well - Part XV
“Hi Jim… are you back in town for awhile?”
“No… I’m just visiting…” Again, I probably should have rehearsed or at least thought through some of what I wanted to say. “So, how was your week…?”
“Quiet…pretty much same old same old… You?” She asked.
“The same. Hey I just wanted to thank you for last Saturday. I had a really good time…”
“Oh yes, me too. Umm I don’t want you to think that I do that a lot…”
“Me neither… Actually that was pretty much the only time that anything like that happened for me…” This isn’t even sounding convincing to me… I loathe myself at this point.
“Well, I’ve gotta be getting back to work here… See you around…”
Her comment and posture as she spun on her heels had the semblance of finality.
“Yes… Have a good night, I’m going to be moving along…”
“See ya…”
With my conscience somewhat cleared, I drove out of the parking lot and headed south to White Plains. I checked into a relatively cheap hotel and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
In the morning, I took a walk around the area of my hotel looking for a suitable place for breakfast and perhaps a scan of the Sunday Times. One of my favorite pastimes is to have a leisurely breakfast over the Sunday paper.
I hadn’t really finalized a plan for the evening with Cheryl after the meeting at the steakhouse that was pre-arranged and agreed to. As I went through the paper, I checked out the listings for the local clubs and the movie listings. I decided if the subject came up, I could suggest one of the offerings at the local Cineplex.
I decided to save money and wound up having breakfast at a fast food place about two blocks from the hotel. When I got back to the hotel, I ironed a fresh shirt and showered.
I called Cheryl just to confirm that we were still on and then checked out of the hotel prepared for my date with my first love.
I was still somewhat in awe that we had reconnected after all these years and was very hopeful that this might actually lead to a longer term relationship. I had to at least give this a whirl otherwise I’d always wonder “What if?”
“No… I’m just visiting…” Again, I probably should have rehearsed or at least thought through some of what I wanted to say. “So, how was your week…?”
“Quiet…pretty much same old same old… You?” She asked.
“The same. Hey I just wanted to thank you for last Saturday. I had a really good time…”
“Oh yes, me too. Umm I don’t want you to think that I do that a lot…”
“Me neither… Actually that was pretty much the only time that anything like that happened for me…” This isn’t even sounding convincing to me… I loathe myself at this point.
“Well, I’ve gotta be getting back to work here… See you around…”
Her comment and posture as she spun on her heels had the semblance of finality.
“Yes… Have a good night, I’m going to be moving along…”
“See ya…”
With my conscience somewhat cleared, I drove out of the parking lot and headed south to White Plains. I checked into a relatively cheap hotel and slipped into a dreamless sleep.
In the morning, I took a walk around the area of my hotel looking for a suitable place for breakfast and perhaps a scan of the Sunday Times. One of my favorite pastimes is to have a leisurely breakfast over the Sunday paper.
I hadn’t really finalized a plan for the evening with Cheryl after the meeting at the steakhouse that was pre-arranged and agreed to. As I went through the paper, I checked out the listings for the local clubs and the movie listings. I decided if the subject came up, I could suggest one of the offerings at the local Cineplex.
I decided to save money and wound up having breakfast at a fast food place about two blocks from the hotel. When I got back to the hotel, I ironed a fresh shirt and showered.
I called Cheryl just to confirm that we were still on and then checked out of the hotel prepared for my date with my first love.
I was still somewhat in awe that we had reconnected after all these years and was very hopeful that this might actually lead to a longer term relationship. I had to at least give this a whirl otherwise I’d always wonder “What if?”
Monday, November 9, 2009
Well - Part XIV
Well, the rest of the week passed rather uneventfully. I continued to run through my mind the possibility of returning to Danbury the following weekend with the express purpose of hooking back up with Jennifer and “clearing the air” as it pertains to our fling last Saturday night.
I think it is human nature to want to avoid conflict. Therefore I really wanted to just shove the notion of needing to reconnect with Jennifer to assuage guilt feelings aside. The problem was, I couldn’t. My darn guilt feelings kept harkening back to that “morning after” and her being upset that I snuck out (even though it was just to bring back breakfast) and the cuddling we did with the bagels and coffee upon my return.
I thought she was a very nice young woman (with the emphasis on young) but that we truly didn’t have a lot in common. That internal dialog continued through the week and as we entered into Friday of that week, I hit upon the idea of a phone call. The problem there was that I didn’t even get her phone number.
Not able to dispel the notion of needing to talk with Jennifer, I decided that I would drive up to Danbury Friday night, go and see her at work and then head back to our “halfway” meeting place to see Cheryl for Saturday night. I made up my mind that I would just get a hotel rather than face the wrath of my sister. So with all of my plans firmed up I breezed through my work day and even cut out a tad early in order to beat the traffic heading north for the weekend.
The ride up was relatively uneventful and almost too soon, I was standing in the parking lot of the Blind Squirrel staring at the entranceway and wondering if this was all, truly, a good idea. Deciding that I had to see this through, I walked into the bar and glanced around but didn’t see Jennifer (or any bartender) at that point. I took a seat in the corner and decided to wait a bit.
Within five minutes, a male bartender came out from the back and briefly scanned the room. Seeing myself as a newcomer, he proceeded over and took my drink order. I asked him if Jennifer was working this evening. He said she was but she wasn’t coming on duty until 8:00 pm. Looks like I had a about an hour to kill. I resolved to drink slowly.
True to his word, Jennifer arrived in about 45 minutes, she breezed through the bar area and didn’t even see me sitting in the lounge area. She moved to the back room and apparently dispensed with her coat and purse and returned to the bar area within a few minutes. It was then I had that horrible feeling akin to calling someone on the phone without rehearsing what you were really going to say. The only saving grace in this instance is that she still hadn’t taken any notice of me. I even casually considered slipping out without confronting her at all.
When she apparently was “officially” on duty, I approached the bar and caught her eye.
“Hey Jen, how are you?”
The expression on her face seemed to indicate both surprise and embarrassment. Perhaps, she too, was feeling a little awkward about last weekend’s “hookup.”
I think it is human nature to want to avoid conflict. Therefore I really wanted to just shove the notion of needing to reconnect with Jennifer to assuage guilt feelings aside. The problem was, I couldn’t. My darn guilt feelings kept harkening back to that “morning after” and her being upset that I snuck out (even though it was just to bring back breakfast) and the cuddling we did with the bagels and coffee upon my return.
I thought she was a very nice young woman (with the emphasis on young) but that we truly didn’t have a lot in common. That internal dialog continued through the week and as we entered into Friday of that week, I hit upon the idea of a phone call. The problem there was that I didn’t even get her phone number.
Not able to dispel the notion of needing to talk with Jennifer, I decided that I would drive up to Danbury Friday night, go and see her at work and then head back to our “halfway” meeting place to see Cheryl for Saturday night. I made up my mind that I would just get a hotel rather than face the wrath of my sister. So with all of my plans firmed up I breezed through my work day and even cut out a tad early in order to beat the traffic heading north for the weekend.
The ride up was relatively uneventful and almost too soon, I was standing in the parking lot of the Blind Squirrel staring at the entranceway and wondering if this was all, truly, a good idea. Deciding that I had to see this through, I walked into the bar and glanced around but didn’t see Jennifer (or any bartender) at that point. I took a seat in the corner and decided to wait a bit.
Within five minutes, a male bartender came out from the back and briefly scanned the room. Seeing myself as a newcomer, he proceeded over and took my drink order. I asked him if Jennifer was working this evening. He said she was but she wasn’t coming on duty until 8:00 pm. Looks like I had a about an hour to kill. I resolved to drink slowly.
True to his word, Jennifer arrived in about 45 minutes, she breezed through the bar area and didn’t even see me sitting in the lounge area. She moved to the back room and apparently dispensed with her coat and purse and returned to the bar area within a few minutes. It was then I had that horrible feeling akin to calling someone on the phone without rehearsing what you were really going to say. The only saving grace in this instance is that she still hadn’t taken any notice of me. I even casually considered slipping out without confronting her at all.
When she apparently was “officially” on duty, I approached the bar and caught her eye.
“Hey Jen, how are you?”
The expression on her face seemed to indicate both surprise and embarrassment. Perhaps, she too, was feeling a little awkward about last weekend’s “hookup.”
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Well - Part XIII
Cheryl told me then that she was still really upset about the uncertainty of the fate of her brother but was also very apologetic about not being able to get together when I was up in town this past weekend. I told her that I too, was disappointed but certainly understood given the circumstances.
She explained that she still hadn’t heard anything (regarding her brother) and that this was a constant worry for her. There wasn’t much to say on that topic for me. I assured her that if she needed to talk, she could call me anytime (and I sincerely hoped she would).
We tentatively set a date for next weekend to meet at a location half-way between the city and Danbury (neutral territory). I was very pleased with that turn of events. Unfortunately, the conversation then got onto “What did you wind up doing that night when you were in town after she cancelled the date?”
I didn’t have a lot of time to consider a response. The flood of events started streaming in my mind; the bar, the conversations with Jennifer and then of course the overnight with her. A feeling of dread an embarrassment came over me and I prayed that that sentiment wasn’t somehow going to be conveyed with my subsequent response.
“Oh, not much (I hated to lie to her at this very early stage of what I hoped would become a longer term relationship… but that is exactly what I then heard myself do) I went out and got something to eat and then just returned to my sister’s house. We caught up on family news and the like.”
The conversation petered out and I proceeded down to the platform and my commute back to the apartment.
While riding in the train, my thoughts strayed to Jennifer. I’m sure she recognized that our fling that evening was really just a good time and no emotional attachment but, her desire to “cuddle” the following the morning might have belied this notion.
I have a real problem with dealing with guilt feelings and I had an inkling that these particular guilt feelings involving Jennifer were really something I was going to have to resolve if I had any hopes of moving on with Cheryl. I considered calling Cheryl back and asking if we could move the date back to Danbury so that I could potentially try to reconnect with Jennifer just to bring closure to that relationship. I decided to do just that even though that meant that I was going to have to call my sister back and arrange for crashing there again. I was hoping that would result in a few more questions. I don’t think she was too keen on my behavior during last weekend’s visit.
She explained that she still hadn’t heard anything (regarding her brother) and that this was a constant worry for her. There wasn’t much to say on that topic for me. I assured her that if she needed to talk, she could call me anytime (and I sincerely hoped she would).
We tentatively set a date for next weekend to meet at a location half-way between the city and Danbury (neutral territory). I was very pleased with that turn of events. Unfortunately, the conversation then got onto “What did you wind up doing that night when you were in town after she cancelled the date?”
I didn’t have a lot of time to consider a response. The flood of events started streaming in my mind; the bar, the conversations with Jennifer and then of course the overnight with her. A feeling of dread an embarrassment came over me and I prayed that that sentiment wasn’t somehow going to be conveyed with my subsequent response.
“Oh, not much (I hated to lie to her at this very early stage of what I hoped would become a longer term relationship… but that is exactly what I then heard myself do) I went out and got something to eat and then just returned to my sister’s house. We caught up on family news and the like.”
The conversation petered out and I proceeded down to the platform and my commute back to the apartment.
While riding in the train, my thoughts strayed to Jennifer. I’m sure she recognized that our fling that evening was really just a good time and no emotional attachment but, her desire to “cuddle” the following the morning might have belied this notion.
I have a real problem with dealing with guilt feelings and I had an inkling that these particular guilt feelings involving Jennifer were really something I was going to have to resolve if I had any hopes of moving on with Cheryl. I considered calling Cheryl back and asking if we could move the date back to Danbury so that I could potentially try to reconnect with Jennifer just to bring closure to that relationship. I decided to do just that even though that meant that I was going to have to call my sister back and arrange for crashing there again. I was hoping that would result in a few more questions. I don’t think she was too keen on my behavior during last weekend’s visit.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Well - Part XII
I stayed with Jennifer that morning until she had to get ready to go back into work. I had to get my act together and head on back towards the city. I called my sister and got my lecture (I think she’s taken over for Mom now in being one of my primary sources of guilt). I returned to my sister’s house to pick up my things and then headed south to “hearth and home.”
My thoughts almost immediately strayed to Cheryl as I drove down the major interstate south. I was very disappointed that circumstances ran afoul of my opportunity to perhaps have my first real date with perhaps my first real love. I also was a tad embarrassed that I had sought out and actually consummated a “one night stand” with Jennifer. I wasn’t particularly proud of those actions but I couldn’t deny that it was something I surely was seeking that lonely night.
Last time I attempted to take a dip in the dating pool…back in the Pleistocene era, things seemed to be simpler. Now, there are more dangers. STDs can actually be fatal in this day and age. Beyond that there is so much technology involved in the dating scene. You can meet via the Internet, in a chat room, through some paid service that will assess compatibility characteristics. Meeting in a bar was almost passé anymore. Developing any kind of “opening line” strategy has now become embedded into programs and documented into any number of self-help books that could possibly fill several library shelves.
I think I have become the dinosaur here.
What ever happened to the enthusiastic, idealistic romantic that I was back in my high school days? Maybe the answer was that people never really do change and I wasn’t really as idealistic or a romantic as my memory seemed to suggest.
When I got back to my apartment on that Sunday night I took some time to actually clean up. Housework wasn’t something that I paid much attention to but it seemed like the thing to do in this instance. I might have been wanting for a distraction to take my mind off the being alone again in the city with nothing much going for me.
The workweek began with the usual pomp and circumstance. I went through “my morning routine” with all the relish of prisoner on death row taking the last mile walk. The workday was filled with no real challenges therefore no real problems and no real satisfaction that I had actually accomplished much when I punched out and was walking back to my subway stop. Before I actually started down the stairs to the platform for the ride back to my neighborhood, my cell phone rang.
The number wasn’t coming up with any hits in my contact list so I didn’t really know who was calling. I clicked the phone open and said: “Hello” in a resigned tone of voice. I wasn’t sure who would be on the other end so I was more than a tad surprised when I heard Cheryl’s voice.
"Hey Jim, how's it going?"
My thoughts almost immediately strayed to Cheryl as I drove down the major interstate south. I was very disappointed that circumstances ran afoul of my opportunity to perhaps have my first real date with perhaps my first real love. I also was a tad embarrassed that I had sought out and actually consummated a “one night stand” with Jennifer. I wasn’t particularly proud of those actions but I couldn’t deny that it was something I surely was seeking that lonely night.
Last time I attempted to take a dip in the dating pool…back in the Pleistocene era, things seemed to be simpler. Now, there are more dangers. STDs can actually be fatal in this day and age. Beyond that there is so much technology involved in the dating scene. You can meet via the Internet, in a chat room, through some paid service that will assess compatibility characteristics. Meeting in a bar was almost passé anymore. Developing any kind of “opening line” strategy has now become embedded into programs and documented into any number of self-help books that could possibly fill several library shelves.
I think I have become the dinosaur here.
What ever happened to the enthusiastic, idealistic romantic that I was back in my high school days? Maybe the answer was that people never really do change and I wasn’t really as idealistic or a romantic as my memory seemed to suggest.
When I got back to my apartment on that Sunday night I took some time to actually clean up. Housework wasn’t something that I paid much attention to but it seemed like the thing to do in this instance. I might have been wanting for a distraction to take my mind off the being alone again in the city with nothing much going for me.
The workweek began with the usual pomp and circumstance. I went through “my morning routine” with all the relish of prisoner on death row taking the last mile walk. The workday was filled with no real challenges therefore no real problems and no real satisfaction that I had actually accomplished much when I punched out and was walking back to my subway stop. Before I actually started down the stairs to the platform for the ride back to my neighborhood, my cell phone rang.
The number wasn’t coming up with any hits in my contact list so I didn’t really know who was calling. I clicked the phone open and said: “Hello” in a resigned tone of voice. I wasn’t sure who would be on the other end so I was more than a tad surprised when I heard Cheryl’s voice.
"Hey Jim, how's it going?"
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Well - Part XI
Well, following the news about the declaration of war, there was a somber tone in the bar. That same tone would continue throughout the balance of the day. About an hour before my date with Cheryl, I got a phone call on my cell.
“Hi.”
Cheryl called and told me that she wasn’t really feeling like going out that evening. I asked why and she explained that her brother was stationed in Juno and she was awaiting news as to his whereabouts (and obviously his well-being).
I understood but was still pretty disappointed. We agreed to a raincheck on the date and signed off the call. Since I now had the night free, I decided to go back to the “Blind Squirrel.” It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once I got there the mood in the bar was a bit more jovial than that afternnon after the announcement about what was going on in Alaska. There were a few “good old boys” that were enjoying some billiards in the back room. There was a lively little dart game going on in the back, I found an empty bar stool and planted myself on it. After a short time, a pretty little barmaid approached me and asked for my drink order.
“I’ll have a Sam Adams.”
She brought the beer and then curtly spun on her heels and moved onto other matters of course.
Two or three more beers later, most of the folks had called it a night within the bar area and I struck up a conversation with the barmaid, Jennifer. Seems she had been tending bar in this establishment only a few weeks. I told her that I used to live here and regaled some tales of glories past.
I managed to get her to laugh at a few of my stories which only encouraged me to stay and drink more. All too soon it seemed we were looking at “closing time” and I asked her if she wanted to get some coffee (I was a little reluctant to call my sister at this late hour and didn’t want to necessarily show up there too drunk.
Much to my surprise she agreed and we left after she was able to balance out her cashier drawer. It was about this point when I realized I had no idea where we might actually get a cup of coffee at this hour. I was gone to long to rely on my memory.
“You being the local, where would someone go to get some coffee at this hour?”
“Well, we could go over to the Triangle Diner but, I wasn thinking about just walking over to my place.” Things, indeed, were looking up.
It turned out that I was able to “get lucky” that evening. I spent the night with Jennifer and the following morning around 8:00 am, my cell started to ring. I checked the phone and saw it was my sister. Geez, I forgot to let her know where I was and she was probably understandably concerned.
I let the phone go to voice mail but took that opportunity to get out of bed, start to get ready and then returned my sister’s call. I was able to manage all of this without waking Jennifer so, I decided I’d go and get breakfast because I thought that was the least I could do.
When I returned and slipped back into the apartment, Jennifer was sitting on the edge of the bed looking kind of peeved.
“Where’d you go?”
“I went to get us some bagels and coffee.” I stammered out. I was immediately on the defensive just on the strength of her glare.
“I’d thought you shot out of here without even leaving a note.”
I should have left a note. I never was good with these “morning after” exchanges.
“Sorry. Want a bagel?”
“No, I wanted to cuddle a little…”
“Well…”
“Hi.”
Cheryl called and told me that she wasn’t really feeling like going out that evening. I asked why and she explained that her brother was stationed in Juno and she was awaiting news as to his whereabouts (and obviously his well-being).
I understood but was still pretty disappointed. We agreed to a raincheck on the date and signed off the call. Since I now had the night free, I decided to go back to the “Blind Squirrel.” It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once I got there the mood in the bar was a bit more jovial than that afternnon after the announcement about what was going on in Alaska. There were a few “good old boys” that were enjoying some billiards in the back room. There was a lively little dart game going on in the back, I found an empty bar stool and planted myself on it. After a short time, a pretty little barmaid approached me and asked for my drink order.
“I’ll have a Sam Adams.”
She brought the beer and then curtly spun on her heels and moved onto other matters of course.
Two or three more beers later, most of the folks had called it a night within the bar area and I struck up a conversation with the barmaid, Jennifer. Seems she had been tending bar in this establishment only a few weeks. I told her that I used to live here and regaled some tales of glories past.
I managed to get her to laugh at a few of my stories which only encouraged me to stay and drink more. All too soon it seemed we were looking at “closing time” and I asked her if she wanted to get some coffee (I was a little reluctant to call my sister at this late hour and didn’t want to necessarily show up there too drunk.
Much to my surprise she agreed and we left after she was able to balance out her cashier drawer. It was about this point when I realized I had no idea where we might actually get a cup of coffee at this hour. I was gone to long to rely on my memory.
“You being the local, where would someone go to get some coffee at this hour?”
“Well, we could go over to the Triangle Diner but, I wasn thinking about just walking over to my place.” Things, indeed, were looking up.
It turned out that I was able to “get lucky” that evening. I spent the night with Jennifer and the following morning around 8:00 am, my cell started to ring. I checked the phone and saw it was my sister. Geez, I forgot to let her know where I was and she was probably understandably concerned.
I let the phone go to voice mail but took that opportunity to get out of bed, start to get ready and then returned my sister’s call. I was able to manage all of this without waking Jennifer so, I decided I’d go and get breakfast because I thought that was the least I could do.
When I returned and slipped back into the apartment, Jennifer was sitting on the edge of the bed looking kind of peeved.
“Where’d you go?”
“I went to get us some bagels and coffee.” I stammered out. I was immediately on the defensive just on the strength of her glare.
“I’d thought you shot out of here without even leaving a note.”
I should have left a note. I never was good with these “morning after” exchanges.
“Sorry. Want a bagel?”
“No, I wanted to cuddle a little…”
“Well…”
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Well - Part X
All good depressions must come to an end and I began to feel much better as I tooled around the familiar environs of my hometown. I cruised out to the local shopping mall on the outskirts of town. In doing so it was fun to be wandering around noting all the changes to the downtown area, the busy store fronts and traffic pattern changes that lead out to the main arterial highway leading to the mall.
I was listening to tunes and latched onto a string of reggae music that was both uplifting and got the toe tapping, head nodding motions going. I think it was a combination of the music and the old/new surroundings that allowed me to focus on what is good and promising in the world around me.
Arriving at the mall, I picked up a hot pretzel and chomping on that while I was looking for a clothing store to pick up a new shirt for that night. I noted the changes internally to the mall and the store selection. I tooled on into one of the larger shopping malls when I ran into Robert Grey, another old classmate.
“Bobby…how goes it?”
“Well, they’ll let just about anybody in here on a Saturday won’t they.”
“Only if they promise to buy something it seems.”
We exchanged a few more banal amenities then moved along to our individual pursuits. I selected a couple of shirts, made my purchase then moved on back out to the car. On the way back, I started reminiscing about high school times. I remembered gazing longingly across the cafeteria in Cheryl’s direction. I noted what she wore on a regular basis and during lunch time, she always seemed to be engaged in conversation with the same two or three girlfriends. I always thought I was pretty good at hiding my glances or covering up my casual interest but, according to our last conversation, I must have tipped my hand once or twice as she said that she knew I had a crush on her.
The crush couldn’t have meant much back then as neither of us felt compelled to act on it and here were 10 plus years out of high school and actually now socializing (or rather we are planning to socialize at least for this one date). I wondered when/where she took notice of my interest.
Since I had a couple of hours to kill before I was to pick her up, I decided to stop in at one of my old haunts, a bar that a lot of my group hung out in for witnessing sporting events and to wind down at night when the need arose. The establishment was called the “Rec Room” back then and I noted a name change when I pulled into the familiar parking lot. The new owners apparently were perhaps shooting for a slightly older clientele when naming the establishment the “Blind Squirrel.” There was a cute saying underneath that “even a blind squirrel can sometimes find a good nut.”
As I walked across the entranceway and approached the bar, I noted that there were very few folks gathered at the bar. It seems most of the current patrons were engrossed with a
TV broadcast airing on a large screen over by the pool table area. In fact I stood at the bar looking for service in vain for a number of minutes before my curiosity and thirst caused me to wander over to the edge of the crowd to see what was going on that was so captivating.
The scene that was being captured on the TV was from a news broadcast. It seems that something was either just announced or being discussed. It looked like a press release but I couldn’t quite make out what was transpiring. I asked some one at the edge of the crowd what was going on.
“They just announced that we were attacked in Alaska. The president is saying its an act of war is sending troops to the North Country to ward off an invasion by the Chinese.”
“Are they attacking us or Canada”
“Both it seems.”
I would later learn that an invasion force had landed in Alaska and that the Chinese were seeking to claim Alaska for its own. I guess they were interested in harvesting the oil reserves up there. According to the same gent, the Canadians have already responded by sending in troops to the area but it seems the Chinese have made great strides already and had claimed control of the state capital.
I was listening to tunes and latched onto a string of reggae music that was both uplifting and got the toe tapping, head nodding motions going. I think it was a combination of the music and the old/new surroundings that allowed me to focus on what is good and promising in the world around me.
Arriving at the mall, I picked up a hot pretzel and chomping on that while I was looking for a clothing store to pick up a new shirt for that night. I noted the changes internally to the mall and the store selection. I tooled on into one of the larger shopping malls when I ran into Robert Grey, another old classmate.
“Bobby…how goes it?”
“Well, they’ll let just about anybody in here on a Saturday won’t they.”
“Only if they promise to buy something it seems.”
We exchanged a few more banal amenities then moved along to our individual pursuits. I selected a couple of shirts, made my purchase then moved on back out to the car. On the way back, I started reminiscing about high school times. I remembered gazing longingly across the cafeteria in Cheryl’s direction. I noted what she wore on a regular basis and during lunch time, she always seemed to be engaged in conversation with the same two or three girlfriends. I always thought I was pretty good at hiding my glances or covering up my casual interest but, according to our last conversation, I must have tipped my hand once or twice as she said that she knew I had a crush on her.
The crush couldn’t have meant much back then as neither of us felt compelled to act on it and here were 10 plus years out of high school and actually now socializing (or rather we are planning to socialize at least for this one date). I wondered when/where she took notice of my interest.
Since I had a couple of hours to kill before I was to pick her up, I decided to stop in at one of my old haunts, a bar that a lot of my group hung out in for witnessing sporting events and to wind down at night when the need arose. The establishment was called the “Rec Room” back then and I noted a name change when I pulled into the familiar parking lot. The new owners apparently were perhaps shooting for a slightly older clientele when naming the establishment the “Blind Squirrel.” There was a cute saying underneath that “even a blind squirrel can sometimes find a good nut.”
As I walked across the entranceway and approached the bar, I noted that there were very few folks gathered at the bar. It seems most of the current patrons were engrossed with a
TV broadcast airing on a large screen over by the pool table area. In fact I stood at the bar looking for service in vain for a number of minutes before my curiosity and thirst caused me to wander over to the edge of the crowd to see what was going on that was so captivating.
The scene that was being captured on the TV was from a news broadcast. It seems that something was either just announced or being discussed. It looked like a press release but I couldn’t quite make out what was transpiring. I asked some one at the edge of the crowd what was going on.
“They just announced that we were attacked in Alaska. The president is saying its an act of war is sending troops to the North Country to ward off an invasion by the Chinese.”
“Are they attacking us or Canada”
“Both it seems.”
I would later learn that an invasion force had landed in Alaska and that the Chinese were seeking to claim Alaska for its own. I guess they were interested in harvesting the oil reserves up there. According to the same gent, the Canadians have already responded by sending in troops to the area but it seems the Chinese have made great strides already and had claimed control of the state capital.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
