Well - Part XXIII

I knew Cheryl was distraught but, I was stunned that she would have been so far gone as to attempt to take her own life. This had to be some kind of accident. Didn’t it?

I pretty much had to take my queues in this from her family. I didn’t have much of a point of reference here. Her family was now a complete emotional mess. They had just buried her brother and now Cheryl, who appeared to be the rock everyone was leaning on through the first loss, had seemingly succumbed to the stress of the recent events.

I learned, after about an hour of waiting, that she was going to be all right (physically). The medical doctors were now taking a back seat to the psychiatrist and social workers that have become part of this “case.” I was wrestling with my own guilt feelings that perhaps I should have seen signs or been more supportive or something.

Her parents were very appreciative of my presence but they had a lot of stuff going on now too. I was going to have to work out whatever I was feeling with on my own.

Despite hanging around for over two and half hours, I never did get in to see her that evening. Her parents eventually were allowed to go in but she was under heavy sedation and all they were really able to do was to hold her hand and sit with her quietly.

I headed back out into the autumn night air and was feeling pretty much like I didn’t want to be alone that evening. I drove around the city for awhile before lighting onto the idea of hitting my old favorite watering hole, the Blind Squirrel.

The place appeared as it always seemed to appear in my mind’s eye but when I went inside, I was almost immediately taken by a change that was all too obvious… and also troubling (to say the least).

My old friend Jennifer was tending bar that evening (which wasn’t surprising) but, what startled me was that her appearance betrayed that she was “with child.” The possibility that she was pregnant with my baby was not lost on me. I did some mental arithmetic and decided it had been about three months since our little one-night tête-à-tête. I was half tempted to turn on my heels and leave but the shock of this revelation left me unable to move either towards the bar or away from it.

With no other recourse but to confront the situation, I walked towards the bar and took a stool in the corner. Jennifer hadn’t seen me yet and I was trying to think of something witty to say, something that might diffuse the situation a little but, when she approached me and the realization wiped across her face, the only thing that came out of my mouth was “could I get a shot of Glenlivet and a Saranac Pale Ale chaser please?”

When she returned to my perch at the bar with my order, there was an incredible amount of uncomfortable silence that hung in the air between us.