Well - Part XIII

Cheryl told me then that she was still really upset about the uncertainty of the fate of her brother but was also very apologetic about not being able to get together when I was up in town this past weekend. I told her that I too, was disappointed but certainly understood given the circumstances.

She explained that she still hadn’t heard anything (regarding her brother) and that this was a constant worry for her. There wasn’t much to say on that topic for me. I assured her that if she needed to talk, she could call me anytime (and I sincerely hoped she would).

We tentatively set a date for next weekend to meet at a location half-way between the city and Danbury (neutral territory). I was very pleased with that turn of events. Unfortunately, the conversation then got onto “What did you wind up doing that night when you were in town after she cancelled the date?”

I didn’t have a lot of time to consider a response. The flood of events started streaming in my mind; the bar, the conversations with Jennifer and then of course the overnight with her. A feeling of dread an embarrassment came over me and I prayed that that sentiment wasn’t somehow going to be conveyed with my subsequent response.

“Oh, not much (I hated to lie to her at this very early stage of what I hoped would become a longer term relationship… but that is exactly what I then heard myself do) I went out and got something to eat and then just returned to my sister’s house. We caught up on family news and the like.”

The conversation petered out and I proceeded down to the platform and my commute back to the apartment.

While riding in the train, my thoughts strayed to Jennifer. I’m sure she recognized that our fling that evening was really just a good time and no emotional attachment but, her desire to “cuddle” the following the morning might have belied this notion.

I have a real problem with dealing with guilt feelings and I had an inkling that these particular guilt feelings involving Jennifer were really something I was going to have to resolve if I had any hopes of moving on with Cheryl. I considered calling Cheryl back and asking if we could move the date back to Danbury so that I could potentially try to reconnect with Jennifer just to bring closure to that relationship. I decided to do just that even though that meant that I was going to have to call my sister back and arrange for crashing there again. I was hoping that would result in a few more questions. I don’t think she was too keen on my behavior during last weekend’s visit.