Well - Part XXV

Irony.

What a ridiculous mess I’ve made of my life with my actions. It felt, for a time, that I was finally getting my life in order. I had connected with someone. Really connected with someone. I cared for her and her for me. To top that off, this was almost a dream come true as the object of my affection was the first girl I ever remember being attracted to in high school.

I was infatuated with her for years and as my high school years began to fade in my memory, she reappeared in my life and we really did hit it off. I had met her family and had really become a part of her life. She was everything that I thought I was looking for in a woman.

Then… or actually just before then…

I did something that was totally out of character for me. I was in need for some companionship and had fallen into the arms of an angel of mercy for that one night. It was never intended to be anything more than two folks helping each other through a difficult night. I was supposed to be seeing my old high school sweetheart but, instead, I wound up with a sweet girl who took pity on me for that evening. Now, that evening is looking like it will change (did change) both of our lives forever.

I had no argument with Jennifer on wanting to have the baby. I had no idea (we just didn’t get a chance to talk through much of it) what that meant fully. We committed to speak again the next day. We decided to meet for lunch at the mall. A nice casual, non-threatening stage to discuss further what our immediate future plans might/should be.

In the meantime, the love of my life, was attempting to recover from a severe emotional blow with the death of her sibling. She was so disturbed, it appears, that she attempted suicide. Where does that leave me…?

This is beginning to sound like some obscenely protracted soap opera. “As the stomach turns…” Geez.

Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, I got the phone call that I was being laid off from my job. I thought I was on rock bottom and someone just shifted some of the rocks.