American Dreaming - 1983 through 1989 / Part II

I didn’t mean to imply that the previous six years were totally without merit. I did manage to move between several different positions within my stint as a civil servant. I moved on from my bout with the food service position to garnering a wonderfully brief position in the enviable role as a boiler room helper (what fun…NOT).

I only lasted about three months in this job as I was constantly fearful that I would be damaging my hearing. It was fascinating to me that folks who had survived for many years in this environment adjusted to the constant din that was created by the machinery and boilers that were operating 24/7. I wound up constantly going “What? Come again? I can’t hear you?

It wasn’t the din that sealed my fate in that position but rather I found out a rather useful element about myself. One of the tasks that a boiler room helper could count on was an assignment to paint the exhaust pipes on the top of the boilers a different color every month. It’s not that the pipes needed painting every month… In fact, I would almost submit that since no one really paid any attention to pipes except to make sure they were functional, the color was entirely useless. It was more a tasks to keep us busy (I guess). In order to paint these pipes we were asked to climb out onto the pipes which hung in some places 150 – 175 ft. above a cement floor. There were no scaffolds or safety cables involved with this job. I found out that I had a substantial fear of heights. After suffering through this assignment for three months running, I quit.

I eventually rejoined the ranks of civil service when I managed to successfully garner a position as a truck / bus driver. I managed to garner the requisite licenses within a short period of time. I actually found that I enjoyed this job for the first few years. I enjoyed the freedom that existed when I was assigned long trips as assignments. I much more enjoyed hauling goods and materials rather than driving a bus (and subsequently hauling people).

The first few years as a driver were a fun time.. I managed to go and see some places that I probably would never had taken the time or money to visit. The novelty soon wore off and the driving began to take its toll. I got extremely bored with a lot of the assignments and for the most part the routine lost all of its appeal after my son was born. I didn’t like spending any extended time away from my family (and neither did my wife).

My marriage began to spiral downhill rapidly as the pressures of parenthood began to set in. My wife didn’t like “being stuck at home” and so when I came home, she would leave. She didn’t go back to work even after my son began going to school which as the bills starting pressing in, caused me to seek a second job while still attending school part time in the evening.

We grew apart and our tendency to pursue very different paths that subsequently provided little time together sunk the relationship. I remember the day that I was summarily told by my spouse “I wish you would just move out”…. The statement really shouldn’t have been a surprise but, I was still pretty crushed by the dissolution of my marriage.

The toughest thing that I think I’ve ever had to do was attempt to explain to my kid why Daddy wasn’t going to live in the same house as his mom and him. We managed to get through it and to our credit I think we did a pretty good job with being honest to our son and helping him through that difficult transition.

So, I managed to get through my first marriage, I became a proud parent of a wonderful kid, I learned quite a few lessons about what I was good at and also what I had little or no love or interest in. I would chalk up the latter 2/3 portion of the decade as a learning experience. My moving out was really pretty much a re-birth of sorts.

---Jim