American Dreaming – 1990’s / Part XIX

The first function I became interested in within AOL’s offerings was that of chat rooms. I was captivated by both the number of folks and the subject matter discussed within some of these chat rooms. Eventually, I ventured into some of the chat rooms that had titles suggesting they were areas people who were single “and looking” could meet.

Being the painfully shy person I am, I was not immediately emboldened by the anonymity that the online service offered. I didn’t even have the sense not use my “real name” in my login. That part I wised up to before I actually began to post. Initially my tact was to only watch and read but, not add anything to the communal discussions.

It was after about three weeks of casually watching some of the discussions in these forums that I received my first “instant message.” I was startled by the interaction and stumbled through it. It was intimidating to think that there was another real person on the far end of this system that I was actually conversing with in this new and interesting medium.

That person who (seemingly on a whim) reached out to me became a fast “friend”. While we hadn’t met physically we discussed a variety of topics. She was a military wife who seemed to indicate that she was lonely. Husband out at sea. We conversed in this manner for a few weeks. I began to enjoy the medium and we talked about a lot of different topics.

About two to three weeks of chatting back and forth (with a few e-mails thrown in for good measure), she said that she knew of someone that I should meet. She said that she had a friend who lived in Detroit. She said that she thought “we would be a good match because we both talked over her head”. I thought it was an amusing observation but, I told her that I would be willing to chat or exchange e-mail. I was skeptical about the prospect but in deference to my new friend, I would respond if asked. She then circled back with her friend who basically responded with well, if he writes me, I’ll read it and perhaps write back. Not exactly a warm beginning to my friend’s attempt at matchmaking.

I began to exchange email with this woman in Detroit. It rapidly progressed to daily emails and then some regular chats. After about two to three weeks of this, we started conversing on the phone. My phone bill over the next couple of months was huge but, a romance had started. I couldn’t believe that this was really happening. I had pretty much resolved myself to not having anyone else in my life. I had made peace with living alone and actually enjoying that freedom. I never imagined that I would be involved with a long distance relationship but, that was most assuredly where I found myself by September of 1996.

We resolved to meeting face to face. We decided that we would meet at a neutral location half-way. The date and travel arrangements were set that we would meet for the first time Pittsburgh at the end of November. As the days and weeks passed by the desire to meet this lady increased. Apparently that was a mutual emotion because we then decided we couldn’t wait until the aforementioned meeting date in Pittsburgh and decided to meet in Buffalo on Veterans day in early November.

On the agreed upon date, I returned my son to his home in the southern portion of New York and set off by car to Buffalo on a Sunday night. The 390 mile trip was filled with a whole battery of emotions. I was thrilled, I was nervous, I was scared. I had come to allow emotions to be felt that were long dormant and I thought dead.